I don’t know if you see it this way. But somewhere along the line, I started feeling like everything comes back to me. Not always directly. But in the way conversations end.

In the way things get flipped. In the way I walk away, thinking about what I should have done differently.

Even when I didn’t start it. Even when I was just trying to say how something felt. It somehow turns into something I need to fix. Something I need to explain better. Something I need to handle differently next time. And after a while, you stop looking at what actually happened.

You just look at yourself. What did I do? What could I have said differently? How could I have made that easier? And the more that happens, the easier it becomes to believe it.

That maybe I am the problem. Not because it’s been said directly…but because it’s where everything seems to land.

So I try to be better. Quieter. my tone shifts. I try to become clearer, I try to be more careful with my words, and somehow it still ends in the same place.

I don’t even know what “right” looks like anymore.

Just that whatever I’m doing doesn’t feel like it is. But when I watch how you engage with others i realise, I’m not really doing anything wrong.

Am I the problem, is our communication the problem, or is there something more.