It’s not just in the moment, it’s after, it’s watching your behaviour, it’s watching where I fit in. That’s when it comes back. What was said. How it was said. What I should have done differently. And I don’t think you see that part.

Because it’s not visible. It’s just me… going over it.

Trying to understand it. Trying to make sense of it. Trying to feel settled about it.

But it doesn’t always end up like that. Sometimes it just stays, it lingers, and I carry it longer than I should, and I have no outlet.