Have you noticed, have you taken the time to see the difference? I’ve noticed it myself. The way I don’t react like I used to. Not because I don’t care. Because I’ve started to hold things in differently. There was a time when I would say something straight away. If something felt off, I’d bring it up. If something didn’t sit right, I wouldn’t just leave it there.

Now… I pause. I think about whether it’s worth saying. Whether it’s going to turn into something bigger. Whether I have the energy to go through it again. And most of the time… I let it go. It’s not just with you; it’s now become a blanket feeling.

Not because it doesn’t matter. But because I already know how it might end. And I don’t always have it in me to go through that again. Staying quite is easier, I change the subject. I move past it. From the outside, it probably looks like I’ve become calmer.

Like I’m easier to be around. But it doesn’t feel like that from here. It feels like I’m slowly pulling parts of myself back.

Choosing not to react…because reacting hasn’t felt safe for a while.

And I don’t know if that’s growth…or just something I’ve learned to do to protect myself.

But it doesn’t change who I am inside.