I don’t know exactly when it changed. There wasn’t a moment. Nothing obvious I can point to and say, “That’s when it happened.”

It was slower than that. Small shifts I didn’t notice at the time. Adjusting here. Letting something go there.

Becoming what was needed… without really thinking about it. Until one day I stopped and realised…I don’t feel like myself anymore.

Not in a dramatic way. Just in a quiet, unsettling way that’s hard to explain. Like I’m still here… but not fully.

Like I’ve been showing up, saying the right things, doing what’s expected…but something underneath it all feels different.

Distant.

I started asking myself questions I didn’t have answers to. What do I actually like now?

What do I need? When was the last time I did something that felt like me?

And the hardest part is… I’m not even sure where to start.

Because when you’ve spent so long adjusting, so long shaping yourself around everything else…………you don’t just lose energy……….You lose familiarity with yourself.

I think that’s what I’m sitting in right now. Not trying to fix it. Not trying to rush it.

Just noticing it. Letting it be uncomfortable. Letting it be unclear.

And… figuring out what still feels like me.

Still Something.